The hospitalization of children and the corresponding emotional management are often taboo aspects in society, so people do not know how to react to it. These emotions go through family and friends but, in this capsule, it is intended to delve into the brothers and sisters of hospitalized patients.

The systemic theory explains that each person in the family unit is an element and every movement that the person makes (moving from home, getting married, getting sick, deaths, etc.) always generates changes in the family system, provoking different emotions in each person in the system. When a child is hospitalized, parents and siblings experience this process in an individual and unique way, so the first thing is: How does each family member experience this process?

Father, mother or guardian, what does the illness of your son or daughter cause you? Find out first what fears and strengths you have and be honest with yourself. If you listen to yourselves first and analyze it, later you will be able to intervene with brothers and sisters of hospitalized children.

Once this step has been carried out, listen and understand the sibling. With or without professional help, talk to him or her to find out more about how he or she is experiencing hospitalization and, above all, how they want to experience it. Answer her questions truthfully and honestly.

As parents, you are not supposed to be saviors or superheroes; so there is no need to pretend that everything is always going well. The bond is also created from adversity and not always from happy and romanticized moments.

And the big question, what happens if the brother or sister does not want to go to the hospital or is angry? In no case this should be criminalized or be used as blackmailing: “Mike is sick and if you go visit him, he will get better” or “He or she would like you to be there.”

Not wanting to go, showing anger or apathy are common symptoms in this type of case.

First of all, it is necessary to understand that your attention as parents may be being devoted exclusively to the hospitalized sibling, so this can generate envy and loneliness. Pay attention to the sibling and accompany him/her, thus reconciling the attention of both brothers.

Next, and following the process we mentioned earlier about understanding the non-hospitalized sibling, what if the sibling’s hospitalization reminds you of when your friend was hospitalized and what a hard time they had? What if he is afraid that something bad will happen to his brother and he doesn’t know how to handle it? What if you are afraid that it will happen to him or her too?

It won’t make him/her a better brother/sister to call them every day or be there all the time. Accompany him/her so that he finds a way to feel comfortable in the process, he/she will appreciate it.

If the sibling decides to go to the hospital to visit, they need to feel free to be do they think is necessary and you can propose various activities:

• Ask him if he/she wants to visit the hospital or to watch the hospital tour video. This can help you break myths and fears.
• They can also decorate the hospital room with crafts and photos and it can be an individual and family activity.
• After the hospitalized sibling has watched Nixi’s VR videos, ask them if they would like to use them too. In this way we do not focus attention only on the hospitalized child, but we also give the sibling the necessary attention. In the NixiKit, there are also coloring pages and activities specifically designed to be shared with siblings.